1. Writing a journal helped many express themselves in a way that they couldn’t verbally. The real deep and dark side of grief I wrote down. It was an immensely therapeutic process.
2. Life WILL BE upside down for you. However, as much as possible, try and carry on your routine, its vitally important to keep some parts of your life as close to normal as possible.
3. Find time to both face your thoughts and fears and balance this with a time to relax a little and escape those fears. This gives you an element of control over something that you feel powerless against.
4. Many found walking to be a great tool in being able to organise their thoughts and the fresh air helped them to relax. It may be your faith, your family or a hobby you can gain strength from – whatever it is use it, there are no rights or wrongs. This may not be right for you, but my point is find time for yourself – whatever it is you like doing.
5. A social life away from your grief can help breathe positivity into your life. Realise that eventually you will find a new path, it will take time and that time is to be respected.
6. Listen to your body. You may well have sleepless nights, bizarre thoughts and strange physical symptoms deriving from your grief. But remember try and remain healthy – eat as healthy as you can and respect your body.
7. Many found it useful, earlier on in thier grief, to immerse themselves in some of their shared memories with the lost loved one, but remember this may not be right for you. Find a way that gives you some comfort. If it helps you ignore what others think and go with your instinct.
8. Plan a little for important anniversaries whether that be birthdays, anniversary of the death, Christmas and so forth. I have a set routine for example on the anniversary of the death of my loved one by visiting a place that is very important to me. I would rather be doing something on the day than nothing at all. Structure is important
9. When you get that little ray of sunshine, that positive experience or feeling, hold onto it and remind yourself that these feelings will return, in time, to you once again.
10. Realise that grief does in some ways change you, but remember that eventually you will get to a point where you are ready to move on. Most importantly remember that wherever you are, whatever you are doing and whatever happens in your life your loved one will always be a part of you, will always hold a special place in your heart and not even the depths of grief can take that away.